Getting compliments is a usual thing that we experience in our everyday life, however, most of us are unsure of how to react and reply confidently. As basic as saying thank you is, there are many better ways of responding to praise if one is interested in reinforcing those sorts of interactions.
In this article, nine such tips are given that are basically a step forward from a ‘thank you’ response when it comes to handling compliments effectively and with grace so as to ideally sustain and strengthen the interpersonal relationships involved while also turning this type of social exchange into a potential opportunity for meaningful interaction.
Psychology Behind Compliments
Flattery is not only words said or heard in passing; it is a part of the psychological structure of communication. Fundamentally, compliments are a method of social encouragement, a way of making relations between individuals more solid and positive.
When a compliment is given, it is not only a statement about a certain characteristic or achievement; it is also a subtle affirmation of a relationship and recognition or appreciation.
The effect of receiving a compliment is not just simple feelings of happiness, but it is much deeper. Psychologically, compliments can be motivating in the same way that money does, because they activate the striatum in the brain.
This response shows that getting a compliment is as good as getting a gift or a reward and this shows how potent compliments are in changing our moods and motivation.
Besides, compliments are of great importance in self-images and self-esteem. Whenever people recognize and accept positive aspects of our character or our accomplishments, this strengthens our self-conception. This is especially the case when the compliment received is one that is seen as important or that in some way relates to one’s self-schema.
But here, one should remember that there are psychological differences in how people take and perceive compliments. In some cases, a compliment is easily taken and incorporated into the person and the result is a boost in the self-esteem of the individual.
In others particularly those, who have low self-esteem or have some level of self-doubt, compliments might be responded to with suspicion or even embarrassment. This reaction can be attributed to a case of cognitive dissonance that occurs when the compliment received is not in harmony with the perception that the individual has about themselves, thus they will either dismiss the compliment or feel awkward receiving it.
The social and cultural perspective also determines the reception of compliments and how people take them. In some cultures, people do not appreciate when the other party accepts compliments directly, as it is considered to be arrogance. In such contexts, individuals might downplay or deflect praise to align with social norms, despite potentially positive internal reactions to the compliment.
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9 Tips on How to Respond to a Compliment
1: Acknowledge and Accept the Compliment
The first thing you should do to any compliment is to accept it. This can be as basic as looking at the person and nodding to show that you have understood the remark made and you acknowledge it.
Recognition occurs after appreciation; the idea is not to deny or dismiss the compliment given to them. In many cases, a simple thank you is sufficient enough. For instance, if a friend tells you, ‘You gave a very good presentation,’ you may reply, ‘Thank you, I have been practicing on my presentation skills. ’
- “Thank you, I’m glad my efforts paid off.”
- “I appreciate your kind words. It means a lot to me.”
- “Thank you, that’s very encouraging to hear.”
- “I’m honored, thank you for noticing.”
- “That’s very kind of you to say, thank you.”
2: Express Genuine Gratitude
Saying thank you is not only replying to the compliment but also recognizing the fact that the other person has paid attention to your work or your looks. Saying ‘thank you’ genuinely strengthens interpersonal relations and is considered as a sign of good manners.
For example, if a co-worker says ‘well done’ on a particular project, an appropriate response would be ‘I am grateful for your encouragement. ’ Such a reply shows that you are receptive to the other person’s compliment.
- “Thank you so much, your compliment has made my day!”
- “I really appreciate your feedback, thank you.”
- “Thank you, I’m truly grateful for your words.”
- “Your words are very encouraging, thank you.”
- “Thank you, it’s wonderful to hear such positive feedback.”
3: Avoid Self-Deprecation
One of the biggest mistakes one can make when reacting to compliments is to become sarcastic. This may be done out of sheer arrogance to look humble, but it can be counterproductive in terms of genuine expression of gratitude. Do not downplay the compliment by saying something like, “Oh, it was not a big deal” but rather try to accept the compliment.
If someone pays you a compliment on your clothes, instead of saying ‘oh this old thing’, reply, ‘I am happy you like it!’ This way, you accept the compliment without diminishing yourself and your ability to dress appropriately.
- Instead of “I guess I got lucky,” say “Thank you, I’m glad it worked out well.”
- Replace “It’s nothing special” with “Thank you, I’m happy you think so.”
- Instead of “Anyone could have done it,” try “Thank you, I put a lot of effort into it.”
- Swap “I’m not sure it’s that good” with “Thank you, I’m glad you like it.”
- Instead of “I just threw it together,” say “Thank you, I’m happy it turned out well.”
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4: Share the Credit (When Appropriate)
When the compliment given is in regard to an accomplishment that was made in a group effort or team work, then it is polite and rather wise to recognize the efforts of other people. This shows that you work well in a team and are also grateful to have your co-workers or fellow students.
For example, if told that your team did a good job in completing a certain project, you could say, ‘I appreciate your words of encouragement, I must say that it was a group effort and everyone contributed. This response not only accepts the compliment but also highlights your recognition of the team’s effort.
- “Thank you! It was a team effort, and everyone deserves credit.”
- “I appreciate that, but I couldn’t have done it without my team.”
- “Thanks! It’s a result of great collaboration.”
- “Thank you, I had a lot of support from talented people.”
- “Thank you, I’m proud of what we achieved together.”
5: Keep Your Response Simple
Sometimes, it is better not to overcomplicate things and your response can be quite powerful. It is important not to over-write or provide excessive amounts of information which may reduce the genuineness of the response.
A direct and uncomplex acknowledgment of the compliment helps to maintain the concentration on the expressed positive emotion. For instance, if someone has paid a compliment on your cooking, a basic ‘You are welcome, I am happy you appreciated it’ is enough and real.
- “Thank you, I appreciate it.”
- “Thanks, that means a lot.”
- “Thank you, I’m glad you think so.”
- “Thanks, I’m happy to hear that.”
- “Thank you, your words are very kind.”
6: Use the Compliment as an Opportunity for Connection
A compliment can be used as a perfect ice-breaker or transition to the next level of the relationship. If one offers a compliment, the compliment receiver can reply with a comment or a question that makes reference to the compliment giver and this can make a simple exchange a significant encounter.
For instance, if someone pays a complement such as, ‘You are a good public speaker,’ you could reply, ‘Thank you so much! I have been practicing. Have you been doing many public speaking engagements yourself?’
- “Thank you! Have you ever tried something similar?”
- “Thanks! I’d love to hear about your experience with this.”
- “Thank you, it was a great learning experience. What’s your take on it?”
- “Thanks! It reminds me of what you did on your project. How did you approach it?”
- “Thank you! I’ve been working on this skill – do you have any tips?”
7: Practice Humility without Undermining Yourself
When it comes to responding to compliments, one needs to be humble but not overly humble or else be arrogant. Thus, you do not want to look overbearing but also you don’t want to play them down.
One of the ways to do this is to acknowledge the compliment and then, move on with a humble response. For instance, if a person has paid you a compliment such as, ‘’You are a great leader’’, a positive response will be, ‘’Thank you so much, I am always open to learning and developing. ’’
- “Thank you, I’m always trying to learn and grow.”
- “I appreciate that, there’s always room for improvement.”
- “Thank you, I still have a lot to learn, but I’m glad I’m on the right track.”
- “Thanks, I believe in constantly challenging myself.”
- “Thank you, I’m humbled but still striving to do better.”
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8: Be Mindful of Cultural Differences
Praise acceptance is another area that requires one to be very sensitive to the cultural norms of the givers. People from different cultures have different standards on how they are supposed to accept compliments. In some parts of the world, people are encouraged to be humble and therefore a less enthusiastic response is expected.
On the other hand, in other cultures, people do not hesitate to accept compliments and even acknowledge them. One has to know about these cultural differences to avoid any form of disrespect when answering the question. For instance, in a multicultural workplace, a simple and universal “Thank you, I’m grateful for your words” can be an effective response.
- “Thank you, I’m grateful for your perspective.”
- “I appreciate your words, thank you for sharing them.”
- “Thank you, it’s interesting to hear different viewpoints.”
- “Thanks, it’s always enlightening to receive feedback from diverse cultures.”
- “Thank you, I value the diversity of opinions.”
9: Reflect on the Compliment Afterwards
If you have been complimented, it is good that you take time later on to ponder about the compliment. This is not merely about enjoying the compliment but about analysing what the compliment is saying about your abilities and how you are seen by others. This should be an effective means of self and career growth.
Whenever someone pays you a compliment about some particular ability or quality, think about how the person can build upon this strength and apply it again. For example, if someone has said something positive to you such as ‘You are good at solving problems’, try and think of ways in which you can use these skills in your work or in your life at large.
- “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.”
- “Thank you, I’ll reflect on what you said.”
- “That’s an interesting point, thank you, I’ll think about it.”
- “Thanks, your compliment gives me something to ponder.”
- “I appreciate your words; they give me a new perspective to consider.”
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Conclusion
Real life is not about responding to compliments with ‘Thank you’ but about learning how to build relationships with people in the right manner. Applying these nine tips you will be able to transform the compliments into the new levels of interaction, enhance the self-esteem and make a positive and long-lasting impression on people who provide the compliments.